Public Sex: The Fetish and the Fear

Put together a list of the most common sexual fantasies and, dollars to donuts, getting it on out in public is going to be near—or even at the top--of it.

But what is it that makes having sex out in public so alluring?  Sexologists have been scratching their heads over this for a long, long time and while they haven’t, as yet, come up with a conclusive theory they do know that a big part of it lies in something not many folks would tie to sex: how fear can turns us on.

The thing about fear and public sex, though, is that the former is often much less real terror and much more about the thrill. 

Think of it like the fear you might have while watching a horror movie than actually being in one.

Not that engaging in public sex isn’t without it’s risks -- because there certainly are a lot of them.  The top two, though, would have to be (1) getting caught by the police and (2) getting unwanted sexual attention from others.  Both of these are pretty serious: the first maybe even getting you registered as a sex offender and the second possibly even leading to sexual assault.  

So what can you do to indulge this erotic fear of getting caught, being exposed, and without ending up in jail or worse?  

One of the best is to have your public sex in front of a willing, and enthusiastic audience by going to a sex party or orgy.  Sure, they can be tough to find but with a little research, and a fair amount of networking, you’ll no doubt be able to find more than a few likely venues to explore.

But is this thrilling enough to truly get your public sex itch scratched?  Well, that all depends on you -- though most couples find that having sex among other couples having sex is more than enough to satisfy their libidos.  

And if not and you still think having sex in public is what you want to do then here’s another important point to consider: consent.  

Yes, you and your chosen partner might be consenting adults and even be aware of the risks involved, but what about the people around you who might become aware of your activities?  Being shallow and selfish, to be blunt about it, and indulging your public sex fetish doesn’t ever give you the right to expose others without their permission.  

Not only is this thoughtless and rude, but for those who are dealing with the aftermath of sexual assault, it could be severely traumatic--even devastatingly so.

So if you do want to do some public sex play remember that you aren’t just putting yourself out there to be arrested or accosted but you could be committing sexual assault on others who might stumble onto your sexual antics.

In short, having sex out in public is fine for a fantasy but because of these issues it’s never recommended for reality.  Unless, of course, you do it where being watched is expected and even part of the fun.  

And if you do crave a bit more of that titillating fear then think of other ways to use it.  Orgies and group sex scenes, for example, are also great places to experiment and maybe even satisfy that erotic fear.  

Using BDSM can be a fantastic way of doing this as well, with one partner perhaps taking control and not allowing the other partner to take part.  Or maybe a group sex scene can be an opportunity for some same sex experimentation.  

The idea here is to use the event or party as a way to try new things, to shake things up a bit, to couple sexual exploration with that thrill of having sex in public.  How you do it is up for you, but do remember not to allow the thrill to override common sense: as with many things involving sex, take things slowly and carefully, include plenty of times to check in with your partner, use down-time to think about what happened, and always have a safe word handy just in case things aren’t going well.

Fear can be a big part of the public sex’s turn on but it’s important to also understand the repercussions if you decide to try it out in reality: the thrill, while enticing, should be something controlled and thoughtful, and not end up with you and your partner getting put in the back of a police car or having to fight off someone who thinks that they deserve to be involved in the action.

Yes you can explore the fear and fetish of public sex, just do it where it’s safe, fun, and most of all where everyone has consented to be there; otherwise keep your public sex fantasies just that … fantasies.