Why do I keep attracting ‘losers’, or the ‘wrong person’, you might ask (pattern)? Why are everybody such ‘time wasters’ (you group them)?
Why am I so unlucky/ terrible/ horrible when it comes to dating (internalization)?
I am no self-declared love expert. I am first and foremost a sex expert, and also counsel people on relationships and communication.
However, this is what I learned and it was very useful to me in my reframing and it is this…
Realisation – “I attract because I am attractive! Attractive people attract all kinds.”
Take back power – “They (love interest) can try. It is up to me to use my discretion/ discernment to decide if they are the ‘right’ person for me.”
Take back control – “I get to decide if people who come into my life get to stay in it” (letting go of fear).
Let go fear of getting hurt – “I have been through many things. I can handle whatever comes my way” (including the possibility of getting hurt).
Staying open – “I choose to believe in love and the possibilities of love for me.”
When tired of dating – “I will rest and pace myself in this journey of life.”
Continuing to work on self – “I do what I can to heal myself and trust the universe will provide – while actively being open to love/ dating.”
When still single no matter what you tried – “Just because I haven’t met the ‘right’ person doesn’t mean I am any less valuable/ lovable – I just haven’t met the ‘right’ person for me.”
I know many people who don’t put themselves out there and hence do not meet anybody to go on dates with. It’s a matter of doing/ trying while also taking the time to heal/ reflect/ regroup. It is a process otherwise if we do-nothing, we will also get-nothing.
Be patient, be kind, be gentle with yourself. Go deeper into loving yourself – just as I am too.