Sex, Media & Culture 

What happened when I gave up porn?

Lisa Mews Apr 16 2020

What happened when I gave up porn?

At first, the title was going to be “what happens when you give up porn?”, but I changed it , considering it’s a very personal and individual experience. It might be on an emotional, mental or physical level in which you can see differences between  a life with and a life without porn.

I prefer to talk about my own experience because this is what I have observed and truly felt for myself.

There are many studies that have been done about this topic, and a lot of opinions have been developed about porn. But I mostly tend to try them before just declaring t “this is how it is!”

I don’t know exactly for how long I have been watching porn, but it probably started as soon as high speed internet was  installed in our houses. I’ve always had this curiosity of watching other people being naked, while also being intimate. Plus, I felt  that my orgasms were more fun and more intense with porn.

I’d  watched so much porn that the more porn I watched, the more I wanted to explore different categories, because it just wasn’t interesting to watch the same kind ofporn anymore. So now there is almost no genre of porn that shocks me. With the coming of the internet and all the openness with it, we all come across  varieties in porn categories, especially if we are hooked and want more. For a few years of my life, I watched porn about five times a week, at least.

I don’t know, perhaps I am not the best person to judge if one can call this an addiction. However, I did notice that once I stopped watching porn, my life flipped quite a bit, in a fun way. And this is something I am extremely glad about.

My fantasies and imaginations have gone wild. I am thinking of my own porn, and I am imagining scenes that I have never seen before and  am truly happy about the ideas that I come up with.

Most of these scenes you won’t actually find in porn because they are so intimate and private, that no camera can catch them. True connections between people do not happen very  often in porn.

With a real connection, you have trust  each other and when there is trust, there is openness. With openness you can really go beyond various constructed limits and enjoy something that was in your head, but can now be directly expressed in your body. This is what happened with me when I gave up porn. I built  my own scenes, my own positions, and even created new ways and ideas of having sex with a true connection.

It was as if finally, I was the one writing the porn in my life. I am not following someone else’s script. ‘This is what I have seen, so I copy it.’ No. I create my own ideas of sexual pleasure and the feeling is so much better.

I am more satisfied and happy while I masturbate. In addition, I can concentrate on my breathing, as well as the rest of my body, because I am focused on what is actually happening in the moment, and give it  adequate attention.

On a side note, I heard somewhere that watching porn creates financial problems. I have to admit that this statement made me stop watching porn immediately, because I really wanted to see if these two things were correlated.

For now, I see how cutting out porn makes me feel better, so I am happy about the result. And this is all I can say about my experience without porn. It might be different for you. As I said, this is a very individual journey and I don’t know how other people would experience it. It would be rather interesting to learn about it actually...


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