I suppose I’m lucky. I’ve dealt with mild depression for twenty years. I've managed it with an ongoing regime of eating well, exercise and understanding what is happening (rather than fighting it).
With this baby, I’ve had a touch of post-partum depression. It comes out suddenly—mostly when I’m exhausted—stays a little while and then goes away. My world hasn’t been turned upside down because I’m used to depression; it’s more of a hugely inconvenient blip.
Still, the feelings of despair, hopelessness and anxiety are, well, what they are.
I’m so busy just trying to get through those particular days in one piece that there is nothing left to give to my partner. In fact, I need him to take over.
Here is yet another obstacle to add to the long list of things that make sex after baby complicated.
This is the first time since I started this Six Month Sex Challenge that I really couldn’t stand the thought of sex or anything it takes to create intimacy with my partner. I refuse to feel guilty about it—because the guilt can easily send me into a depressive tailspin.
The research/ scientific part of my brain keeps nagging at me: This would be a perfect opportunity to experience firsthand whether the potent mix of happy hormones secreted during sex is the elixir to help curb this depression.
So there you go. Sex in the name of science.
This week is about my husband and I thought Sue’s recommendation of the We-Vibe would be something he would enjoy. (Here are Sue’s other recommendations.)
How Was the We-Vibe?
We’ve tried the We-Vibe before this baby and loved it. However, this time I’m dealing with my breastfeeding-dry-vagina, so I wanted to see if intercourse would be uncomfortable.
Well, it was better than I expected. With plenty of water based lube (never use a silicone toy with silicone lube) it was actually bordering on pleasant. Although initial entry into the vagina was uncomfortable.
Getting a bit technical here…I believe (it’s an educated guess) the vibrations from the We-Vibe on both the clitoris and vaginal wall were able to bring blood to the surface and help the overall vulva area to become aroused quicker.
Woohoo! Is all I have to say about the We-Vibe! (And it was invented by a fellow Canadian.)
I did feel a spike in happy feelings for about half an hour. What I didn’t expect though was that post-sex my husband left me lingering kisses, cuddles and touches for the rest of the day. That affection really did a lot to help keep the depression at bay.
Husband's Rating On We-Vibe
He gives it a 9.5/10. He believes the We-Vibe is the best sex toy he’s ever tried. Furthermore, he thinks it good sharing toy for both the gal and the guy. It’s not a threatening type of phallic-shaped, and it’s really easy to use. (You must understand my husband is SUPER analytical and critical about EVERYTHING—I can’t believe he actually gave a 9.5 rating.)
Thanks, Sue, for your great suggestions.
Originally published on TrinaRead.com
Subscribe to our weekly newsletter and stay updated on our best sexual well-being articles, podcasts, workshops, and more.