What does play have to do with Sexuality? The Sexual Wellness aspect of Play is the foundation of all sexuality! Sexuality is just adult play. After 12 years of teaching kids I noticed that when they felt safe and secure in themselves, they had no fear of ‘risking.’ When they risked, they would play, laugh and explore with abandon. Working with my sexual wellness coaching clients I started to notice that one of the root sexual problems was they did not feel safe and therefore they could not enjoy sex.
Many clients had similar insecurities, including negative body image, low self-esteem, performance anxieties and unhappiness. One of the best ways to make sex safe is to help people to feel safe by relearning to play and risk. It is important to understand if you have past childhood or sexual trauma that sex would not be safe. That trauma will need to be healed in order for you to feel safe with play and sex. So please reach out to get some professional support to heal those old traumas.
So let’s take a moment to think about:
- When was the last time you were silly or giggled without drugs or alcohol?
- Do you smile and have fun while you are sexually engaged? Or is sex serious business?
- Can you remember the last time you laughed and giggled during a sexual experience with your partner … not at your partner?
Repeat after me: Sex is fun! Sex is Safe! Pleasure is my Friend!
People often find sexual experiences stressful for a number of reasons: past experiences around sexual trauma, childhood sexual abuse, childhood sexual interference or bad sexual experiences in the past. People may feel as though they are judging themselves and/or that they are being judged for their performance, skills and form. With that kind of pressure there is not much room for pleasure, fun and feeling relaxed!
The more you can laugh and be silly with your lover, the more comfortable, relaxed and safe you feel with them. The secret to a kick ass sex life is risking!!!!!
The benefits are:
- More enjoyable sex
- Building self esteem
- Improved communication skills
- And… did I mention Better Orgasmic Pleasure!!
SEX IS FUN! Playful Lover Exercise
Here is one of the many Sexual Wellness Coaching reclaiming tools that Succulent Living uses...
The Playful Lover Exercise: Remember SEX IS FUN!!!!
- You are both hot and horny and ready to have sex!!!
- Ask your lover if they want to do a playful lover exercise with you...
- Stand in front of one another naked or clothed
- Stick out your tongues
- Make a crazy face at one another
- On the count of three make a crazy sound together (my favourite is the wild turkey sound. It helps to loosen your tongue - excellent for some epic lickey lickey!)
- Laugh and giggle
- Now that you have both risked being silly together you are FREE to express your orgasmic pleasure without stress or judgement. It’s time to let your wild silly orgasmic creature out!!
You are given permission to play, laugh, risk and express happiness!
Until next time have an adventurous bum wiggling day!
P.S. For more fun and easy Holistic Sexual Wellness and BDSM education come download and listen to her podcast “My Orgasmic Life” found on all your favourite podcasting platforms like Spreaker or Spotify or Apple podcast or Google Podcast or iHeartRadio.