I went on a coffee date with a friend whom I was considering sleeping with. I met him recently at a mechanic’s office, he hit on me (tastefully) and we developed a texting relationship. He’s one of those mid-forties men who takes care of himself physically and is full of hard muscle, crows feet and enough life experience to make him both hilarious and exciting.

The date was sort of check-in to see if he was worth the effort to turn him into a FWB. I want to know I’m going to have a good time before I go to the trouble of hiking up my skirt.

The weather was uncharacteristically warm for a New England winter, so we opted to take our coffee to go and wandered around an outdoor park along a river (I need to mention that this was a nature area, not a playground so ya’ll don’t give me a hard time for what is coming up next). I’m a big fan of nature and sunshine, so this was my jam.

Eventually, we found an area with a bench and a fire pit next to the river. We had to climb down an embankment to get to it, but seeing as my coffee friend was all muscle, I felt comfortable having him walk ahead of me in case I slipped. I figured I could use his tree-trunk like body to break my fall.

We sat there for a bit, chatting about our lives and the random river trivia that my brain holds. Eventually, he asked if he could kiss me.

A real man asks first

They do not want to take a chance and go in for a kiss only to find they misjudged. They aren’t interested in being someone’s bad day. They know the sexual power of the moments between their asking and your lips meeting. Real men value enthusiastic consent over the element of surprise.

Real men make sure women go first.

Our kissing progressed until he shifted off the bench and lifted my skirt. He cupped his hands under my ass to protect my skin from the concrete. He tasted me slowly, starting outside my panties and only progressing when I begged.

He didn’t stop after my first orgasm. He seemed to want more as much as I did.

A real man warns you before he fills your mouth

Really, if you want a person to swallow, you need to warn them. An experienced deep throat can turn off the gag reflex and relax their throat, but only if they are prepared.

This gentleman friend was a heavy cummer, and despite his warning, I struggled with his load, but he met the requirement by warning me.

Real men kiss a partner who swallowed

This is the ultimate milestone for me. If a man won’t kiss me after I make him orgasm with my mouth, I’m not asking for a repeat performance. Some parts of sex are too important and without kissing I can’t get to the finish line.

Thankfully this man checked all the boxes. It’s always disappointing when dates seem promising and fail to get that last one right.