Sex, Media & Culture 

Who was influential in you embracing sex?

Jennifer McBlaine, PhD Sep 25

Who was influential in you embracing sex?

Who was the person that helped you discuss sex and not feel ashamed of the topic? Who has been influential in helping you embrace sex and your sexuality? It wasn’t until he passed away that I realized the influence Prince had on my acceptance of sex. Prince was a talented and wonderful artist.

His music was seductive and infectious, to say the least. His persona exuded a sexual vibe. How many men can wear high-heeled shoes and an outfit displaying their ass and still be considered sexy and manly? None that I am aware of; besides, the musician Prince. I’d like to say my parents were influential but I am not supposed to be making jokes. 

Discussing sex and anything to do with the topic can be overwhelming, to say the least. There is so much information to wade through that it can be easy to want to end the discussion quickly. The topic is constantly being challenged between what is and is not acceptable. Some topics that fall under sex’s current umbrella are fetishes, polyamory, BDSM, swinging, pegging, porn, LGBTQIA, #MeToo, and premarital sex.

How does one decipher between it all to learn what they like and dislike or rather what turns them on or off. Many of us learn from talking to our friends or watching movies however; let’s be honest; sex is one of those behaviors that you learn by doing. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect.  Truly, how many of us have become great in bed because we saw a movie or chatted with our friends.

The constant challenge is when people are sexually active how many of them clearly communicate before or after the act. Clearly would be next time I need more foreplay prior to penetration not vaguely such as oh that was good. Many of us struggle with understanding what we desire during the act. Sometimes we are so focused on pleasing our partners that we forget we are a part of the equation. 

One way that we learn what we like is by exploring our own bodies and discovering what feels good by touching different areas on our bodies along with our genital.

Masturbation is an excellent way to learn how your genital reacts to being touched and caressed. By understanding your desires during sex with yourself, you will be able to communicate what you like and dislike to your partner.

Sex is and will continue to be an involving and influential subject in and out of the bedroom. Ideally, a person wants to embrace this topic their entire lives as did musical icon Prince. 

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