What to do When the Relationship Gets Boring

At the beginning of relationships, the couple’s sex life is usually hot and intense. In long-term relationships, it is natural that the busy routine, the daily habits with your partner and even the arrival of children make couples' sex life cool down.

If your relationship is no longer as it was in the beginning or you feel frustrated because you realize that your partner is no longer looking for you in bed as before, and if you are having difficulties in finding a solution, this will help you to realize that it is possible to get out of the routine and relight the spark in your relationship. 

Did you know that with a little initiative you can shake up a monotonous relationship and make it resume its energy, joy and warmth? Some habits and attitudes can help to keep it steady or even bring it back to normal.

Here’s a  list with some tips that will help you to give a new direction and expand the horizons of your relationship:

- Surprise your partner in bed: Don't be afraid to dare and take initiative. Do something you've never done before in bed. Take the opportunity to fulfill his fantasy and, besides making him super excited, you'll have fun too.

The following scenario is quite common: your partner no longer looks at you as before and you are sure he doesn't feel so horny when he is with you. Sex has almost become something cold, an obligation or an act done without pleasure, in an automatic way, like brushing your teeth or drinking water, for example. And what do you do to prevent this situation from continuing? Do you lose self-esteem, become insecure, expecting an attitude from him? Of course not!

- Buy sex toys: go to the sex shop and leave with a full cart. Use your imagination and abuse the accessories to spice up your evening; If the couple still have reservations to try something very different, it is worth starting with simple things. How about a gel that heats up or cools down? Or rather, a chocolate pen to draw declarations of love for each other's bodies?

- Sexy dances and erotic games: How about a striptease? Or no TV, book or computer before bed? Playing, seducing, and dedicating to each other is another tip to warm the bed at the wedding.

- Vary time and place of sex: as time goes by, most couples have sex at the same time and place. That's very bad for the relationship, because the fuck becomes predictable. There's nothing more boring than knowing when you're going to have sex, and the worst, exactly what the sequence of movements will be like, when you're going to enjoy it, etc. Change that game! It's in your hands - and other parts of your body - the key to making this relationship much more fun. If you're used to having sex in the morning, do it differently this time.  If you've only been having sex at home, change the scenery, propose a romantic trip and spice up this relationship. You won't regret it!

-  Feel good and sexy: It's not because you're in a longer relationship that you need to stop taking care of yourself. At the beginning of the relationship, I'm sure you weren't wearing beige panties, let alone walking around the house in that wide sweatshirt. Did I get it right? Try something provocative. Feel sexy and confident about it. That increases self-esteem and helps the relationship a lot.

-  Seek for help: Couples sometimes identify that the relationship is getting cold, suffer from it, and yet do not seek help. Whether talking to friends, reading about it on the internet or couple therapy, everything is valid.

-  List of innovations: How about making a list of things you two would like to do. Sex in the car, on the beach? Make a habit of doing unusual things in your relationship and embark on this delicious two-people game.

- Take moments for two: It is always interesting to program yourself and allow yourself to make a different trip, enjoy a new environment, with the possibility of enjoying moments alone. Or even, meet at a special restaurant, with a romantic and intimate atmosphere. And even go together to a concert of your favorite band. All this will ease the burden of the relationship.

- Keep an eye on communication and express your feelings: Many couples stop communicating because of fear of starting a discussion. When the couple feels uncomfortable in a certain situation, they should talk to each other. Everyone should learn to say "yes", "no", and "wait" to make everything very clear, especially at prime time. Talking a lot and showing interest in changing aspects of the relationship that bother both of them is also something essential to keep a healthy relationship.

Although communication is essential, sometimes - and for many reasons - there may be some kind of barrier in the dialogue between partners. There is no problem in seeking solutions to problems in sexual life with professionals. Therapy can help you to develop attitudes, behaviors and emotional expressions that improve the couple's interaction.

Using this tips you can get a better relationship with yourself and your partner again. Try it, you deserve the best for your life.

Photo by Carly Rae Hobbins on Unsplash