Watching Porn with a Partner

Porn is a touchy subject for a lot of people. There are so many different opinions weighing in on the matter all the time. And it can get even more complicated in the context of a romantic relationship.

Questions abound: Is it okay for me to watch porn? (It’s very okay!) Is watching porn with a partner a good idea? (Yes! Read on for detailed reasons why.) If my partner watches porn without me, is that considered cheating? (Not inherently.) Do my feelings about porn line up with my partners? (There’s only one way to find out!)

Luckily, there is a very easy way to tackle the issue: open and honest communication with your partner. And one of the best ways to have these chats is by watching porn together. If you’re both games for it, the potential benefits of this shared activity are many.

Here are a few of the top reasons why watching porn with a partner is a great idea.

Spice things up

One of the most obvious points is that watching porn is arousing. That’s the whole point, after all. Introducing porn to your foreplay is a fun way to switch up how you get raring to go together, especially if you’ve never done it before.

The novelty of bringing something new into your bedroom play can help shake you out of a sexual rut or prevent one from happening in the first place. When you find out what makes your partner tick or share your preferences with them, it not only enhances the immediate enjoyment but deepens your shared intimacy. And watching your partner get turned on can be a huge turn-on in and of itself.

Enhance sexual communication

If you find it difficult to open up and share your sexual fantasies, you’re not alone. It’s common for people to feel nervous and worry about how their partner might receive them.

Your fantasies and feelings are very valid, and your partner likely has similar feelings about their own fantasies. If the idea of bringing your desires up out of nowhere makes you anxious, you can always try using porn live to break the ice and spice up your life.

Try putting on a video and see where it goes. You could make commentary (“I think that’s really hot.”), ask a question (“What do you think of that?”), or say nothing at all and let your bodies do the talking. Then you can debrief after the fun is said and done.

Discover what you like together

If you or your partner have never watched porn before, and are hesitant to try because there's a negative impression of it, ethical porn is the best way to go.

Ethical porn ensures fair and respectful treatment of the performers throughout production. It also tends to show more realistic sex and emphasize mutual pleasure, which has made it quite popular amongst couples.

Run by women, Bellesa Plus is the premier online destination for ethical porn. With their pay-what-you-want sliding scale, you choose what you want to pay for unlimited access to an extensive library of ethical porn and erotica. If you’re not sure what you’re into yet, a platform like Bellesa Plus that offers a wide range of adult content is a great place to start exploring together.

Image from Bellesa

Explore safely

Sometimes you don’t know what will turn you on until you’re in the thick of it. And you can play out any riskier fantasies out in a safe way. Using the premise of a porn plot like a threesome or outdoor sex can prompt further discussions about bringing them to life in a way that works for your relationships (“Would you ever consider doing something like this with me?”)

That said, not all fantasies need to be re-enacted in real life to enhance the erotic moment. Simply talking about it or turning it into a hot role-play scenario is a great way to feel it out, without the risks that can come of inviting another person into the room or breaking public decency laws. Watching porn can prompt exploring these fantasies in whatever way is most comfortable for you.

Increase Intimacy

Talking about what you like, what you might like to explore, and what you want to do together is something you should be able to do with your sex partner. It’s not always easy, but with practice, it does get easier. Using porn as a means to start a conversation or as a regular communication tool can definitely deepen that practice.

In this shared experience of getting vulnerable in a safe and conscious way, the scene is set to open up and share more intimately with each other. It also gives you the opportunity to confront any insecurities or jealousy lurking beneath the surface. All this combined is sure to strengthen the quality of your communication and the bond of your relationship, in and outside of the bedroom.

How to introduce the idea of watching porn with your partner?

The hardest part of this process is getting started. The best way to go about it is to keep it light and casual. Present the idea to your partner without any pressure. (“I’ve been wondering what kind of porn you like to watch” or “I saw this really hot video on Bellesa the other day. Would you like to watch it me?”)

Everyone needs to be consenting and onboard for it to work. If watching porn with your partner doesn’t work out, you can chalk it up to the experiment that it was. On the other hand, you never know what you might like until you try it.