Sitting in my room, alone, contemplating the state of the pandemic-fraught world, I am inspired to explore my own pleasure. Not as an escape, or to pass the time, but as an active and conscious way to connect more deeply with me. What have I been craving? where have I fallen into unawareness? How do I keep my sense of touch and feeling awake in this era of isolation?
My eyes were drawn to the back of my door, where I hang some of my favorite pieces of lingerie and clothing. I have to admit I am not usually too drawn to elaborate pieces of clothing, but a stretchy lace minidress looked appealing. I pulled off my clothes and donned the deep blue lace number.
Mmm… I’d forgotten how good touch could feel through the lace.
Spending time stroking my body through the fabric was really sexy and arousing. Surprising really that I hadn’t remembered this in a while. Our sense of touch is so different through different fabrics. Anyone will tell you that the feel of a body through silk is completely different than PVC leather. And for the body being touched, it feels different too.
Have you got a favorite material that turns you on?
Have you explored how you like to be touched, or touch yourself through different fabrics?
If not, then maybe this is the perfect time to get creative with your sense of touch. Most of us are feeling a little (or a lot!) touch-deprived at the moment. We haven’t been for a massage in a few weeks, perhaps you are living alone and haven’t been with anyone physically for a while. How do we feed our bodies on our own?
For me, the answer jumped out at me as I caressed my lace-covered breasts. Touching myself could have an infinite array of sensations by using different fabrics.
Naked under the sheets.
Wearing tight spandex.
Light touch through the lace.
Enrobed in a faux fur blanket.
The possibilities are limited only by your imagination (and your wardrobe!)
Perhaps this is a time to explore and expand your sense of desire and arousal possibilities. If you are into scientific experiments ;) maybe set up 2 or 3 different outfits and try them out. Which ones were most pleasurable? Which ones were most sexy? Arousing? Comforting? This may give you insights into things you could bring into future sexual encounters with your partner/s. Gathering information about yourself can also increase your confidence and self-awareness, which, let’s face it, is pretty much always sexy.
These kinds of explorations can be both fun and sometimes challenging. Taking time to discover your own pleasures can bring up buried emotions and feelings. Thoughts like “am I worth it?” Or “Do I deserve to feel good?” Often arise.
If you find yourself cringing to think about trying new touch sensations, let yourself feel into what’s behind your emotions. Write about it in your diary, or even book a virtual session with me to discuss and work through the complexity of human pleasure.
I am open for business online during these trying times. Don’t hesitate to reach out if you want support and coaching around self-pleasure or relationships.
Photo by Lana Abie on Unsplash
Subscribe to our weekly newsletter and stay updated on our best sexual well-being articles, podcasts, workshops, and more.