Sex, Media & Culture 

Ten Ways to Touch by Anton Psychopoulos

TenWays ToTouch  |  Aug 07 2020

Ten Ways to Touch by Anton Psychopoulos

To touch can also be used figuratively with the meaning to invoke a feeling of affection, gratitude, or sympathy.

— 1) —

Look me straight in the eye and tell me that you find me attractive.
Oh, honey, there isn’t ANYTHING that will make you more attractive to me than hearing that you find ME attractive.

— 2) —

Offer to rub my shoulders, or my feet.
Even if you’re not very good at it.
Because even not-very-good massage at least is evidence of good intentions, and generally,  it’s pretty good – way better than not getting rubbed at all. As is the case with a lot of things.

— 3) —

Offer me food.
Even if it’s just to buy me food at a fast-food place.
Heck, even if it’s just to buy something for me from a vending machine, or to pull a package of cheese and crackers from your bag. It shows you’re giving some thought for my health and comfort. It’s kind and nurturing. That will get to me every time.

— 4) —

Show an interest in something I’m reading, or which you know I have read, or which I’ve watched.
Just don’t fake it. Don’t pretend you’ve read it, or have read something else by the same author, or are familiar with the genre. Express an interest in the genre, maybe, but don’t claim to know anything about it if you don’t.

— 5) —

Touch me when you talk to me.
Don’t overdo it, but touch me while we talk. If I seem to be reacting negatively, touch me less often, or less intimately, or for shorter intervals, but if I am responding well, touch me more, up to and including holding my hand while we have a perfectly ordinary, casual or utilitarian conversation.

— 6) —

Be generous with what you have to spare – your money, or your time, or your knowledge, or your living space, or your emotional resilience, or your soft limits. Don’t give more than you can afford to of any of those things, and admit it if I ask you for more than you can handle.

— 7) —

If I tell you that you hurt my feelings, don’t argue that I shouldn’t feel hurt or offended by what you did or said. Just acknowledge that I am feeling hurt or offended and tell me you want things to be right between us.

— 8) —

Ask me for small favors.
This is something which maybe I shouldn’t admit to, since it’s more a way for you to manipulate me, as opposed to something that will increase my level of arousal, but it probably will do that, too.

Ask me to lend you a dollar, or look something up on my phone because yours won’t access Google for some reason (or some such nonsense).

Maybe even ask me for a really odd favor, like hand me a ten dollar bill and ask me to buy coffee for both of us so it looks like I’m treating you when we get to the head of the line.

As Benjamin Franklin said,  a man is more inclined to like you better if he has done you a small favor than if you have done him a large one.

— 9) —

Be honest with me. Don’t pretend to be a virgin, or a retired courtesan, if you aren’t. Tell the exact truth. Before we meet, give your actual birth year and your actual weight.

— 10) —

Be different from me.
Don’t be exactly the same as me, with the same background and ethnicity and education and age as me.
Have something to teach me and share with me.

Picture source: https://neilpatel.com/blog/10-ways-to-make-customers-fall-in-love-with-your-business/


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