Is There A Gender War?

Something that has come across my path recently is the fact that perhaps we are in the midst of one of the biggest conflicts ever, and most of us don’t even realize it. 

Men versus Women

We have moved on from the Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus attempts to show how we are different and how to live together peacefully.

More often nowadays you hear women saying things like, “I don’t need a man, fuck that” or men trying vainly to figure out how to be good partners amidst the mixed messages of ‘be a gentleman and open to the door’ to ‘don’t treat me like I can’t do anything myself’. It is no wonder that men often get together at the sports arena, or the back deck and shake their heads.

‘The best we can do is keep the women happy and try not to anger them’, is one main belief I hear from men more and more. And what does that mean anyway? What does it mean to say ‘just keep them happy’? Are we trying to silence people of the opposite sex? Do we really believe the idea of communicating and sharing equally and with compassion is beyond our possibility? 

I have walked the streets and talked to many people of both genders. We seem to be moving more and more towards the idea that ‘our’ gender is better, more intelligent, and that the ‘other’ gender is stupid and they just don’t get it at all.

Even more worrying is the rhetoric floating around that not only is the opposite gender stupid, but that we don’t even need the other gender. 

Where does that leave us as a human race? 

Not in a good place, I would say. 

What are the alternatives, and how can we work towards healing this split between the genders? Well, one possibility is encompassed in the whole LGBTQ movement. The push from people who have always felt they related in a different way to gender and/or sexuality gives us the opportunity to reevaluate our own beliefs. This recalibration is never an easy feat. Our resistance to change or other views is encased in a fear response that is hard to overcome. 

Another possibility is for all of us to realize that perpetuating this gender war is following one of the oldest rules of conflict, divide, and conquer. If we allow ourselves to be influenced by the prevailing programs, that people of another gender are somehow less than us, we are allowing ourselves to be weaker as a human race. We are also missing out on many fulfilling relationships with almost half of the population. 

I have found that whatever your gender or sexuality expression is, we are all humans and we all have valuable things to share with each other and this can only be done by staying open to what we all have to offer. If we have different ways of doing things or alternative viewpoints, this is an opportunity for us to expand our worldview. 

One of the biggest gifts from studying Somatic Sex education is this chance to experience many different people with expressions that are different than my own. Relationships with ‘others’ help us grow and expand.

Let’s not let this trend of hating on differences between the genders lead us to more division and weakness as a human race. 

If you are struggling to comprehend your partner or even your own relationship to gender expression, reach out, and let’s chat. Perhaps there are ways to explore this disharmony within a safe container. I offer free 30 minute consults to discuss how we could work together to reach your goals around intimacy, sex, and relationships. 

I look forward to connecting, 

Ailsa

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash.

Originally posted https://www.pleasureforhealth.com/pleasure-ripples-blog1/2020/7/30/is-there-a-gender-war