Interact & React With Ease: Relationship Course Correction

Author :- Wellcelium May 24, 2021, 8:03 p.m.
Interact & React With Ease: Relationship Course Correction

When was the last time you and your partner checked in together about what’s working and what’s not? 

A guide to your growth in relationship

Relationships are supposed to be alive and breathing. Our relationships will naturally change over time because as humans, we change and evolve as people throughout our lives. The experience of being in a relationship can result in healing and support you in becoming more of whom you really are. 

You are not the same person you were when you met your partner, even if you met fairly recently. How has your relationship changed over time? How have you updated your relationship to reflect the person you are becoming? Getting current in our relationships is a key to growing together instead of growing apart.

Relationship course shifts

How do you shift your relationship in a conscious way as you change as individuals, and gently welcome any fears that come up in the process? It helps to begin by noticing the relationship habits you’ve developed over time. Perhaps your life feels really busy, and it’s become a challenge to prioritize spending time together. Growth in relationships can be difficult when there’s not enough focused time together for connection and bonding.

When other responsibilities are allowed to take active priority over the nurturing of the relationship, this lack of intentionality can become a problem over time. Feeling disconnected in a relationship can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction as unmet needs give way to patterns of resentment.

Getting current with who you are

You deserve a relationship that reflects who you are and what you want, right now. How have you changed through the course of your relationship? How have your individual needs changed? Perhaps you’ve shared one or several major life changes throughout the course of your relationship. Changing jobs, having or adopting children, moving to a new city, caring for aging family members, pursuing new hobbies, and going back to school are all examples of external changes that will require a relationship to shift and change to support our needs as they change over time. 

Relationship satisfaction

A significant motivating force in a relationship is recognition. Telling your partner that you recognize and appreciate their commitment and contribution to creating a healthy relationship really goes a long way. Feeling seen and valued plays an important part in every relationship.

Other factors that contribute to relationship satisfaction include being responsible for our actions, sharing meaningful activities, being accountable by keeping promises, sharing household duties (if you live together), and offering your full attention when talking and connecting.

Questions to ask yourself

When was the last time you checked in with yourself about your level of satisfaction in relationship?

Is your current relationship what you want?

Is your current relationship what you initially agreed to?

What is the state of your trust in relationship?

Suggested practice

Scheduling personal daily check-ins can be a helpful way to get in the habit of checking in with yourself and your relationship. At the end of the day, take a few moments to reflect on the following questions:

  • How did my relationship feel today? Describe it in a few words or sentences.
  • How did I show up for the relationship today?
  • How did I struggle to show up for the relationship today?
  • How did my partner show up, and how did that make me feel?
  • What opportunities for growth did I notice?

Recommended resources

ACT with Love: Stop Struggling, Reconcile Differences, and Strengthen Your Relationship with Acceptance and Commitment by Russ Harris

Originally published on wellcelium.org

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