I Have Man-boobs, Am I Normal?

This is really about two things: both of them incredibly important.  

The first is that if you have any questions about your body, especially about anything that might be changing with it, please consult your doctor.  I know, this can often be easier said than done, as all of us to come degree or another can be embarrassed about our bodies, but try to keep in mind that’s what your doctor is there for.  

And if you don’t feel comfortable with them then it’s your right--and even your duty to yourself--to find someone who is.  If the issue is something you don’t find easy to talk to with your family doctor, but they are good with everything else, health clinics--attached or not to colleges--can be a good place to find excellent information about sexual or deeply personal concerns with your body.

One place I personally do not recommend you consult about your health concerns is here, the internet.  Don’t get me wrong, there are some excellent health-related sites and services out there, but it’s far too easy to miss those and get sidetracked--or worse, misinformed--about health and sexual problems or questions.  

Sure, use the net to find a doctor or clinic, find out some medical basics, and especially use it to reach out for crucial help with mental health challenges, but do try to resist using it for self diagnosis: much better to leave that to a true expert you can have a conversation with, face-to-face.

That was the first important thing … and here’s the second: there is no such thing as normal!

I really can’t say this loud enough, strong enough … and so I’m going to say it one more time: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS NORMAL!

Our society, along with its many other faults, has created this sadly persistent illusion that there is a magical “perfect” body and that anyone that doesn’t conform to this somehow damaged, or even worse, unattractive.

Media, of course, plays a large part in reinforcing this societal delusion: pushing on us image after image of honed and buffed bodies, coupled with the clear message that you are only sexy if you look this certain way--and if you don't it's somehow reflective of something you've done wrong, some defect in your character.  But if you try our miracle diet/exercise/spiritual path/buy our car/drink our booze you too can get… 

(Deep breath).  No one, on this planet, is normal: there is no standard, no benchmark for being human.  We are each beautifully, gloriously unique. Not only that but our bodies are constantly changing, so even if this myth was true it would only be so for a tiny sliver of time.   

But it isn’t.  Not only that but we actually love our differences.  It may not be as common as it should be to say out loud but that “perfection” bullshit isn’t as desirable as you might think. 

Case in point, a very wise friend of mine said that no matter what you look like someone, somewhere on this planet will pay good money to see you naked.  

Okay, objecting someone for their appearance isn’t the best way of proving my point but hang in there: the idea here is that even though you might despair of your body because it doesn’t look like [insert name of popular celebrity here] there are lots of people who think that you aren’t just beautiful but sexy.  

Hell, just take a few minutes looking at porn to prove my point.  Agreed, a lot of the performers look like they came mass-produced out of some factory but for every cookie-cutter sexstar there are thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of others who look a lot like you do--and who have even more than number in fans who think they are, for them, the pinnacle of beauty and sensuality.

But this is just about physicality.  It might sound like something found in a fortune cookie, but it really is true: you … are … BEAUTIFUL.  Not despite your body’s illusory “flaws” but because of who you are as a person.

It’ll be challenging, to put it mildly, especially after so many years of cultural programming, but for yourself and your well-deserved happiness stand tall in front of that mirror and see yourself as anything but “normal” but rather exceptional … and most of all, sexy!

If there is a health reason for you to be concerned about your body then, yes, by all means, find a sympathetic doctor and discuss with them your concerns or even work with them on ways to alleviate the issue.

But if you think you’re broken, that somehow if you changed this/that/or something else about your body then you’ll finally be “normal” and therefore happy please consult a therapist or visit a support group--and, above all else, please love and cherish your body and yourself and try not to forget that no one, ever, is “normal.”

And that, no matter what you look like, you’re amazing: inside, outside, and all over.