In the dictionary, the word intimacy is defined as a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group.
The word Intimacy divided reads as – Into – Me – See.
You need to build intimacy with yourself before endeavoring to build a relationship with another. There is a distinct difference between sex and intimacy. Most people confuse the two. A sexual relationship can likely be absent of intimacy. As humans, we want to be seen, we want to be acknowledged, we want to be made to feel like we belong and that we matter. We thrive on affection and being accepted. As a new relationship develops, the acceptance of each other is important, despite the state of being of the person who develops a connection. Intimacy is about getting rid of protective layers and facades by revealing yourself to someone you genuinely love with flaws and all. It is presenting yourself most authentically.
Sexual development starts in young children, often during a self-exploration stage of body parts, whereby an attempt to build intimacy with ourselves and our bodies. This is normal as per human sexual development. Between the ages of 3 and 5 years old, we experience the feeling of sexual self-discovery with our genitalia and tend to be in comparison with our parents and friends. During this sexual self-discovery, our parents or caregivers stop us from doing so. In turn, this created the message in our minds that it is a shameful act and considered dirty behavior.
As teenagers, if you are found out to be watching porn or reading an adult magazine, parents tend to overreact. This results in further negative conditioning and a barrier to developing intimacy with oneself. This void with no intimacy developed results in, a disparity between genders. A small percentage of women can achieve orgasm through intercourse alone, compared to men. Many are not aware of what truly pleasures them. Are you engaging in sexual activity to please your partner more than yourself? Do you communicate with your partner what it is that pleases or displeases you?
A relationship cannot survive without healthy communication. Intimacy cannot be built without healthy communication either. Have you ever considered how a simple good morning or goodnight can positively impact your relationship? Not only does it give the receiver a sense that they are the first and last thought, but it builds trust.
If you have the pleasure of living together, do not take the presence of each other for granted.
Kissing each other good morning and good night can be a nice way to start or end the day. Take time to listen to each other on how the day was experienced. Make a concerted effort to have a meal together at the end of the day.
An Intimacy Coach helps individuals and couples to create healthy, happy and fulfilling sex lives with positive and accurate information.
Do you value your relationships and believe it requires investment? Did you know that the quality of your life is heavily dependent on the quality of your relationships? There are less anxiety and depression, increased productivity at the workplace, and achieving personal goals. Healthy relationships contribute to a healthy immune system and can increase longevity.
If you ready to start the journey to feeling liberated, and take the first step to achieving your intimacy goals, visit my website to book a session.
Photo: Sacha-Lee, Nobel Media Solutions.