Honoring all Parts of Ourselves

Author :- Ailsa Keppie Feb. 24, 2021, 11:38 a.m.
Honoring all Parts of Ourselves

Most of us are only touched ‘down there’ when we are involved in an intimate encounter. We cover up our genitals as quickly as possible as we change or shower and only bring that part of our body out to play when having sex. But is this really the only reason to touch this area? 

Can massage of our private parts be therapeutic? 

This is a question I hold in my mind as I often have clients with either pain, tension, problems with lymph drainage around the pelvis, or even back or hip dysfunction when I wonder if massaging the whole pelvic area would increase the therapeutic effect of a bodywork session. Don’t get me wrong, there are lots of ways to work on the pelvic area without working directly on the genitals, but I have found that sometimes the key to healing is to work on the entire area. I mean it’s all part of our body right?

I have worked with this concept in my treatment of abdominal and pelvic scar tissue that has had various effects for the client such as helping with incontinence, pain with erection, severe menstrual cramps, and painful sex. Often, if the person is willing to allow their genital area to be included in the work, it has drastically increased the benefits. 

The fascial tissue of the pelvis and torso, as well as the legs, connects to the scrotum, the penis, the labia, and of course the pelvic floor muscles. These are all areas that can be worked on therapeutically with great benefits. Clients have found it to be deeply relaxing, even comforting, to feel connected to these parts of their body in an intentional way that didn’t necessarily include arousal in the erotic sense. 

Many people feel the relief of having that part of their body touched and nurtured without the stress of having it lead anywhere or having to be in a sexy mood. There is something incredibly healing in just receiving touch in these taboo areas. As well, many of us don’t even realize how profound the effects could be of receiving hands-on therapy for these often-overlooked body parts. 

We hold tension, trauma, and dysfunctional patterns in our genitals much more than we have been openly acknowledging as a society. It’s about time to re-integrate this part of our body into our paradigm of therapeutic bodywork. 

There are a few ways of pursuing this type of work. 

  • Pelvic floor physiotherapy 
  • Genito-urinary specialist or MD (if more medical care is needed first)
  • Sexological bodywork or somatic sex education practitioner
  • Karsai Nei Tsang practitioner
  • Some TCM practitioners 
  • Some tantra practitioners 
  • Some midwives

Creating a ritual with a trusted practitioner, where you can go slowly and mindfully and really feel these forgotten (or overly stimulated) areas of your body in a new way, is the key to finding healing. 

Check if you feel comfortable and can speak up with this person. Have a discussion with them about your experience in your body and how you would like to be touched or perhaps massaged in this area. 

Spend some time feeling your boundaries around your body, and around what exactly you are in consent to receive from a practitioner. This may be different for different modalities and you may be more comfortable with some people and not with others. 

Take the time to check in with yourself and don’t assume that since you’ve had a baby, for instance, you are ok with being handled down there by a therapist. 

Integrating all of the parts of ourselves takes time and care. This is the kind of work I can help you do over a series of sessions with me. 

Curious to have a chat? Book a free consult with me and let’s discuss your wants, needs, and desires and how Somatic Sex Education might help. 


With love, 


Originally posted on Pleasure for Health