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What is Hitting-on Someone?

Chetana Chaudhury  |  Jan 11

What is Hitting-on Someone?

The following post answers the question:

Is hitting-on someone same as flirting?

"Hitting on someone" is basically,

"to show someone in a direct way that you are attracted to them".

Cambridge Dictionary

But in a broader sense Hitting-on someone is the popular art of flirting or giving someone a hint (especially a stranger) of a sexual interest or a romantic interest in them. which is typically associated with one-night stands. The term "hitting" and "hit-on someone" is used as it would imply to take a chance, a shot, or an attempt on a stranger to express a sexual interest in them.

But what exactly is the difference between hitting on someone and flirting?

Hitting-on someone vs flirting

A person on flutter.com has explained, flirting is innocent banter that may or may not lead to a relationship/sexual encounter. Flirting can be platonic, innocent, and as volatile as the parties involved. But, hitting-on someone usually involves an invitation (implicit or explicitly stated) for some sort of sexual activity and has a sexual intent. Hitting just gives a sense of aggression, directness, and a "hey I want you sexually" attitude.

Hitting on someone just makes someone feel as if one is in a hurry, or super quick, and super direct.

If one reciprocates the feelings of the same person who's hitting, it is a "yes" if not, then there are other eggs in the basket."

The proponent of direct hitting would say, flirting leaves a person in a sensitive spot and doubts that whether their affection will have similar levels of interests and on top of that the amount of time one will waste and what if what you gauge out of it is not right!

It is no surprise then that knowing if someone is flirting with you is difficult. Accuracy in detecting flirting would increase rapidly if the flirters of the world were simply more direct and obvious about their intentions. Incidentally, research shows that direct flirting is what most people prefer. Alas, attempting to accurately detect flirting is a challenge. Yet, it is important to get it right. You don't want to risk embarrassment by misreading the signals, but more importantly, you don't want to miss out on potentially starting a great relationship if someone is interested.

Hitting-on someone and consent

Consent also has a very different and complicated relationship. There should be consent before you touch someone, or go your flirtatious way down. Before talking about consent and 'hitting on someone', we must know about good and bad touches.

Just imagine, someone hitting on you repeatedly even when you are finding it irritating and not liking it. It's just a thumbs down!! No one deserves such treatment. A "NO" in the early stages is better than a regretful NO later.

Advice on hitting-on someone

Standing or sitting too close to someone, touching genitals, touching by putting a lot of pressure on parts like hands, shoulders, arms, interpreting someone when you see they are engaged in some important activity, hitting someone in places like the gym, workplace, interview, funeral, trains, automobiles, are all considered bad places to hit-on someone.

If you are looking for good places to hit on someone, that could be wedding parties, bachelorette parties, a bar, on a face to face date. Be an opportunist, and take a chance at a right go!

Some basic good tips when 'hitting-on someone' can offer an original compliment. Let's be honest - male, female, old, young – everyone loves a compliment, remember details, make them laugh, body language – instigate gentle contact, smile, and look happy.

Make an effort to place yourself in a context where flirting makes social sense, where both parties have made themselves consciously available. Consent is sexy. And the return on investment is almost certainly going to be higher.

So how about we let you all decide if hitting and flirting is the same and even if they are not then what works best for you.

How to hit-on someone?

  1. Be confident: Even if you are giving indirect signals, everyone finds confidence hot.
  2. Have open body language.
  3. Initiate prolonged eye contact, to check if they too engage in the same. This helps in knowing if they're into the game or not.
  4. Approach them with creative and conversation initiating pick-up lines such as, "can I buy you a beer" "have I seen you before?'
  5. Be interested in their lives and be a good listener, while holding that eye contact.
  6. Acknowledge them: Use your lips and smile when you see them. Smile is the best magic trick you have. So use it
  7. Look at them but still not: This needs mastery, make them feel that you are looking at them and appreciating but when they look at you, you should be deep into something else. Make them want to want to have your eyes on them
  8. Be direct: Give them reasons to know you like them. A fabulous example is given by seventeen. "All you need is to be bolder and more direct."

Bonus tip: How do I hit on someone respectfully?

Read some great tips by Georgie Wolf, an expert on relationships and flirting, and author of The Art of the Hookup.


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