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Bedroom Basics: How to be a GREAT Lover

The Secret Submissive  |  Jan 04

Bedroom Basics: How to be a GREAT Lover

Heart-racing, earth-shattering, mind-blowing sex isn’t reserved for the elite. You don’t need a particular body type, location, or any wild moves up your sleeve! Upgrade from being a good to a great lover with my top love-making tips! It’s simpler than you think…

Be Present in the Moment

Make your partner the center of your universe, from the very first second of foreplay to the last, exhausted kiss. Sex should never feel like a chore so regardless of whether it’s a 20 minutes fumble or a long, hot evening of passion, let the stress and pressure of the outside world fade into insignificance and revel in the beauty of the moment. When you immerse yourself completely and incorporate all five senses into play, you’ll increase the pleasure felt by both of you. Your partner will notice and appreciate the extra effort. 

Ask Questions

Source: freepik

The very best lovers always take the time to learn about their partner’s likes and dislikes, especially when trying something new in the bedroom. Like anything, sex gets better with practice so don’t be afraid to try new moves or to ask your partner what turns them on. Asking questions about pressure, speed and position can really help you to get to know them, intimately, and knowing how they like to pleasure themselves can offer invaluable insight!

Pick the Right Partner

At the end of the day, we cannot be compatible with everybody so choosing the right partner is vital. Quite often, as a relationship blooms and grows and intimacy deepens, sex gets better and better. However, toxic relationships or inconsiderate partners can often lead us to believe that we’re not quite up to scratch. There is nothing sexier than confidence so pick a generous lover with who you feel absolutely safe and comfortable.

Be Adventurous

Don’t allow yourself to get stuck in a rut! You can keep your signature moves but why not mix things up by trying new positions, dressing up, or indulging in a spur of the moment quickie! Incorporating sex toys into love-making can also enhance the experience for both partners – vibrators are not just for masturbation. Similarly, if you’re usually wild and untameable in the bedroom, try a change of pace and opt for some smoldering, low-and-slow, romantic sex instead.

Invest in Aftercare

My most memorable sexual soirées have been the ones that didn’t end when we’d both orgasmed. Whether it’s a casual encounter or a long-term relationship, a great lover will invest in quality aftercare and make their partner feel nothing less than adored and cherished, allowing that afterglow feeling to truly shine. Kisses, cuddles, and kind words are simple but effective ways of making sure your partner’s emotional wellbeing is cared for. Physical aftercare could involve a steamy shower together or curling up and enjoying a pizza and a movie. 

Sex is a connection that runs deeper than just the physical act of penetration so let my top love-making tips earn you an upgrade from being a good to a great lover. Knowledge is power… enjoy responsibly!

Cover photo by Unsplash


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