Delve into the mind of Tyomi in this interview that reveals what sex-positivity and intimacy means to her; reflecting on the philosophy of the ego and the self.
1. To our readers who do not know you, what is you story? What inspired you to start your blog?
I began my sex education blog Glamerotica101.com in 2011 after doing research into the sexual health field and recognizing the lack of black female representation. There wasn’t anyone truly speaking to black women in the way that we experience sexuality, and instead of complaining about the lack of representation, I decided to take the lead. My father encouraged me to use my natural gift for writing to be purposeful, and I chose to focus on sexual health. 8 years later, I’m a legend whose career is really just getting started.
2. What do you think is the meaning of sex-positivity?
The meaning of sex positivity is to hold an attitude of acceptance, love and freedom around the topic of sexuality. Sex positivity also means having a healthy awareness of sexual autonomy and flexing that responsibility in a healthy way.
3. We know that everyone has a different definition for intimacy, everyone understands it in different ways, but what do you think is the meaning of Intimacy?
The meaning of intimacy is connection. Whether going within and connecting with self or choosing to connect with others, intimacy involves vulnerability, compassion, trust and awareness. Intimacy can be expressed in many ways, whether romantically, platonically, or sexually.
4. To people who are struggling to find their authentic self, what advice would you like to give to them?
Our personalities are shaped by the opinions of others, in the form of societal and religious programming, parental rearing, professional advice, peer interactions and personal experiences. In order to find your authentic self, one must be willing to shed all external perceptions and go within to find their own voice. One can do that by using feelings and mindfulness. Spending time with self and going within to connect with one’s inner voice is the way. This requires willingness, patience and consciousness. The discovery of one's true self requires practice not only in listening to your heart, but in living authentically. An easy way to begin living authentically is to ask oneself, “What do I truly want?”
5. What would you think would be the future of sexual well-being industry? Do you believe that there is still stigma around it or that we have come a long way, but we still got a long way to cover.
Stigma around sexual health will continue to exist in this world as long as the ego chooses to control people through sexual shame and ignorance. With or without comprehensive sex education, sexuality is evolving and shaping into new things daily. New sexual identities are being created, Kinks and fetishes are being embraced and a new world of sexual expression is forming. As society moves forward and becomes more AI compliant, digisexuality will create another wave of sexual problems that will need to be addressed by sexual health practitioners and clinical therapists. The industry has so many advocates and educators who are poised and ready to do their due diligence in educating the masses, and we need even more. I believe things will get better and sex education will become a staple of societal programming at some point in time. This will require advocacy and funding on behalf of government institutions.
6. Sexuality is something which a lot of people struggle with sometimes, which can depend on various factors including culture, what would you say to a person who is struggling with it? Or for people who are curious to explore their options.
People who are struggling to embrace sexuality due to cultural circumstances should seek professional help for assistance. One who is bogged down with heavy fear-based programming will not be able to lovingly embrace sexuality without help. It’s like asking a person who has never seen light to open their eyes and embrace it. The very act of lifting their eyelids would feel like a struggle, and the light would feel painful pouring into their irises. People who are curious should seek out educational sources like books or websites that can help them on their journey. Professional help comes in many forms from online courses, to YouTube videos, publications, journals, podcasts, blogs and so much more.