Singlehood  Reworking Relationships 

A Year Without Sex

Lisa Mews Dec 10 2019

A Year Without Sex

Why should you take a year off sex? Lisa presents a pretty good argument!

This may sound so lame, so hard to do and not sexy at all. Yes, it was hard, especially two weeks before I cracked the one year of not having sex, but I made it and explored more about my own sexuality than I did in the previous years full of sex - no matter when, no matter where. Of course, this goes very deep. When you decide to not have sex for one year, there must be something going on with you. I heard that in the spiritual community it is „normal“ to not have sex for a longer time, in order to achieve a higher state of being, because you restrict yourself from one of the biggest desires humans are experiencing. We can also see this principle in religions, where sex is a physical union made after marriage. But if you are not spiritual or religious, why would you do that?

It might be, that you are just sick of having sex with random people, or can’t have anymore

disastrious relationships and you just want to take a break. The latter was my main reason. Since I am 14 years old, sex is an important part of my life, with or without relationship. When I decided to takethe break, at 27, I knew that I had to change something, because sex was not that special union anymore and it would lead to a lot of chaos and drama. It also became normal, like having a coffee, or watching a series on Netflix. You know what I mean?

And even the bondage course, fetish parties, or sex on drugs could not give me that kick anymore, or maybe the meaning. I don’t know. Like I said, it goes very deep. 

During that one year without sex I concentrated a lot on my job, which brought me to another level of being able to take responsibility, like I got promoted, because I was focused and structured. So that was a distraction, or maybe the result I got out of it?

Before I finished the 12 months of not having sex, I quit my job, because I cared too much, and just needed a break from all the working. Funny thing, that I quit sex, and then I quit my job…but it was worth it. It feels like a huge accomplishment. Somehow I feel more powerful than before, in the professional area but also in the sexual domain.

It is true that I had a lot of energy left, because I did not care about any dating stuff. And I guess this is what is happening during this one year without sex. I had energy left for other things. Of course I have met some people who made me so horny, I just wanted to jump on them. But this goes by as well. And I actually had a lot of fun with it, because my mind started to have the sweetest and craziest ideas about how I would have sex with them. This craving started to transform into awesome creativity. There were images in my head, positions, words, other people involved… I was amazed by those ideas, because I did not know that I would like these things.

A friend of mine (very sexy woman by the way) also did this experiment and created very good and deeply appreciative friendships in her life. So, the outcomes are very individual. If you are thinking about it and find it an interesting adventure, try it. The results are actually very cool.


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