3 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Hot with a Herpes Diagnosis

Let’s face it. When we get diagnosed with herpes we think our sexyness is gone. It’s almost like it’s not possible to be sexy with a herpes diagnosis. I mean that’s what the stigma tells us. Personally, it makes me mad. 

The stigma tells us that we’re bad people or that we are no longer equal when it comes to having a hot relationship. Well, it’s totally BS. Everyone is deserving of a hot, juicy, steamy relationship. And here’s the secret. It takes communication, trust and vulnerability. 

Seriously, it doesn’t matter if you’re in a relationship and you find out you have herpes or if you start a new relationship after your herpes diagnosis the fact that you have herpes should never get in the way of your intimacy. It’s easy to let the fact that we have herpes keep us from dating, or dating the person we want or even feeling desired or sexy. This personally makes me really sad when I hear stories from our community with people who have negative self talk or for a lack of better words put them self in the corner. 

Don’t let your herpes diagnosis hold you back from keeping your relationship hot. 

Oh and before I give you the 3 tips I want to make sure you know that even if you have a herpes outbreak at the time you can still do this. Don’t just shut yourself off from your partner. Also, you can do these things without any intention of jumping between the sheets. There’s so much more to a relationship than just sex. It’s all about the foreplay and the desire and connection. 

Here’s 3 tips to keep it spicy. 

Send your partner sexy texts

It’s always fun to get a text from your crush. I still light up when my husband texts me even if it’s about a list for the grocery store run. There’s just something knowing that you got a text from the person you like. Ok so the grocery store text probably wont keep your relationship hot but make a point to randomly send your love a hot or sexy text. It lets them know you’re thinking about them. They will smile and light them up

Tell your partner that you’re turned on 

So I asked my husband what his tip was for keeping our relationship hot and steamy. He said that he loves I when I randomly tell him that I’m turned on. He said it’s even better when we're in public or doing something that’s not sexy at all. So back to the grocery store reference, if were shopping together I’ll lean over and whisper in his ear something sexy or tell him that he turns me on. So when you’re with your love and you’re doing something that’s not necessarily hot and steamy just whisper or say something to get the flames going. Consider this foreplay to your next romp session.

Take turns planning date nights 

Going out and spending time with your partner is important. It’s so easy to get in the swing of things and just keep doing your norm. Hey its easy and comfortable, I’m not judging. But its fun and sexy to be surprised and it keeps you excited and wondering what’s next. Switch off every other week and plan something. It can be anything from ordering pizza and eating it in bed to a picnic to a walk or picking a new restaurant. It’s not about the cost or the extravagance its about planning something fun and different with you partner. 

Looking at this and hearing these ideas I hope you realize that having herpes has nothing to do with any of it. Leave your herpes diagnosis at home.  When you send your text don’t send your outbreak status with it. Or when you whisper something in their ear remember that it has nothing to do with your diagnosis. 

Ok so I know it’s one thing to hear it from me, the person with herpes, and it’s another to hear it from someone who doesn’t and is dating or married to someone with herpes. So this is why I did a podcast interview with my husband.  My husband, Bill, talks about what it’s like to date someone with herpes and then of course be married to someone with herpes. He gives his real answers and opinion. So if you want to hear more from the other side then I suggest you check out the podcast interview.

Originally Posted: LifeWithHerpes

Photo by Iván Díaz on Unsplash